1 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,500 Kalisperas, everybodies. 2 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:38,267 Buenos noches. 3 00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:41,200 Oh, Max, can you help me? 4 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,900 Sure, anything you want. 5 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,633 I'm in very big trouble. 6 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:47,733 I kill him. 7 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,867 Who you kill? 8 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:51,133 The man who put you in big trouble. 9 00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:52,567 There is no man. 10 00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:56,533 No, it's my homework. 11 00:00:56,633 --> 00:00:58,033 I no finish it. 12 00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,400 I haven't even started it. 13 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,233 Well, Mr. Brown is going to be very angry. 14 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:06,467 Don't worry, Giovanni, he's going to fix everything. 15 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,233 Yeah? 16 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,467 - Buona sera. - Hola. 17 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:11,100 - Hola. - OK, who wants the homework? 18 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,233 Only 10p each. 19 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,133 One for me, si, grazie. 20 00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:20,400 Hey, hey, hey, 10p, no peseta. 21 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:22,900 OK, who's next? 22 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:23,900 - Yes, please. - Giovanni. 23 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:24,800 Molto grazie. 24 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:25,733 Yeah. 25 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,933 How we know answers right? 26 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,200 Sure answers are right. 27 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,667 My landlady's little boy writes them down. 28 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:33,667 Ah, very good. 29 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,733 Silence. 30 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:37,633 Sit down. 31 00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:39,633 Quiet, quiet please. 32 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,567 Now, where is Mr. Brown? 33 00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,533 Mr. Brown not arrive. 34 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:44,567 Oh, this is too bad. 35 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:45,867 He should be here. 36 00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:47,700 You want I give Mr. Brown a massage? 37 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,433 I presume you mean message. 38 00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:54,667 Correct. 39 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,233 No thank you. 40 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,400 No, I shall wait until he arrives. 41 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,233 It will give me an opportunity to find out 42 00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:03,667 how much you have learned, which is precious little, I suspect. 43 00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:06,533 But madame, we learn a lot from Monsieur Brown. 44 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:11,300 Quiet now, quiet, quiet. 45 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,533 Very well. 46 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,267 Let's see if we can find out how much 47 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,233 you've learned from Mr. Brown. 48 00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:21,000 Can anyone give me a sentence containing the word catalyst? 49 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,100 Ay, catalyst? 50 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,700 Now come along, somebody, catalyst. 51 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:26,733 Por favor, senora. 52 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,333 Yes? 53 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:34,200 In my country, Spain, most of the people are Roman Catalyst. 54 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:42,400 I don't believe it. 55 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,333 That's not right. 56 00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:44,400 No? 57 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,233 Italy's a much bigger catalyst country. 58 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,700 Ah, Espagne, Espagne! 59 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,000 Come on, guys. 60 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,133 Class, please. 61 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,900 Good evening, Miss Courtney. 62 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,100 It's almost good night. 63 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,267 Yeah, well, I'm sorry I'm late. 64 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,067 I was detained at the paper shop. 65 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,867 Mr. Brown, I know that times are hard, 66 00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:08,067 but do you have to deliver newspapers? 67 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:09,467 Oh, no, no, I bought them. 68 00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:11,500 They're for the students as part of their education. 69 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,900 Well, they certainly need some education. 70 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,433 Yes. 71 00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,333 Well, good evening. 72 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:17,333 Buona sera. 73 00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:18,700 Hola. 74 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,333 Oh, "ex-squeeze" me, please. 75 00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,300 I'm just this moment arriving. 76 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,900 "Ex-squeeze" me, again, I go. 77 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,533 What? 78 00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,700 Ali, what are you doing? 79 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,600 Ah. 80 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,000 I come back. 81 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:33,833 Are you moving house? 82 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,867 Oh, not at all. 83 00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,733 I'm coming here straight from work. 84 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:38,767 Oh, you've got a job. 85 00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:39,700 Yes, please. 86 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,900 I'm a traveling salesman. 87 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,267 I go around knicking the doors. 88 00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:46,000 Knocking. 89 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:46,933 That is correct. 90 00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,400 What are you selling? 91 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,533 Oh, blimey, everything for the master or a mistress. 92 00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:52,700 I show you some example. 93 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,967 Maybe you will be wanting to buy something. 94 00:03:57,733 --> 00:03:58,633 No thanks. 95 00:03:58,733 --> 00:03:59,633 I don't think that's my size. 96 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,133 So sorry, please. 97 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,733 This case is for the lady peoples only. 98 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,600 And this case is for the men people, 99 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,067 and everything very cut price. 100 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:11,000 Ah, look this, please. 101 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,333 Do not have to be tying it. 102 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:19,800 And also, if you are dropping soup, you'll be wiping it off. 103 00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,067 It jolly good plastic. 104 00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:23,567 Yes, very ingenious. 105 00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,133 Only 1 pound 50. 106 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,067 You're wanting one? 107 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,633 No, thanks. 108 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,700 I'm telling you what I'm doing. 109 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,633 For you, only one pound. 110 00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,033 Yeah, I don't want one, Ali. 111 00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:35,900 Oh, how 'bout a jolly good shirt? 112 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:41,367 Ah, it is guaranteed 100% substandard. 113 00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,500 No, thank you. 114 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,133 Ali, you got any socks? 115 00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:48,567 - Plenty socks, 50p only. - Plenty. 116 00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,067 Yeah, Ali. 117 00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,433 Excuse, I'm serving. 118 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,600 OK. 119 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,800 I have two. 120 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,000 Right, one, two, money, money, money. 121 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:57,933 Thank you. 122 00:04:58,033 --> 00:04:59,367 50. 123 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,900 Ah, now, tell me, anybody wanting any undertrousers, 124 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:03,933 all different colors? 125 00:05:04,033 --> 00:05:05,367 How much? 126 00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:06,133 Only 50p. 127 00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:07,267 Ali, please. 128 00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:08,900 Ah, you are wanting one. 129 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,333 I'm finding you a very good pair. 130 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:16,633 Oy, hoy, hoy, hoy, hoy, lovely, lovely red, white, and blue, 131 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,900 just like Union Jack. 132 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,133 Very patriotic, but no thank you. 133 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,033 Have you any scarf? 134 00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,867 Most definitely. 135 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:28,367 For you, only one pound, made in Hong Kong. 136 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:29,533 Hong Kong? 137 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,667 I not buy from capitalist state where workers 138 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,633 exploited as cheap labor. 139 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,433 Oh, ah, anybody else wanting something else? 140 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:38,400 Ali, please! 141 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,433 Ah, you are exchanging your mind. 142 00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:41,200 No, I'm not. 143 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,167 Put the suitcase away. 144 00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,967 This is not Petticoat Lane. 145 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,167 Just sit down, everyone. 146 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:50,167 Come along, Juan, Taro, sit down. 147 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,167 All right, before we do anything else this evening, 148 00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:54,133 I want to find a monitor. 149 00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:58,100 OK, you tell us where to look, we find one. 150 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,200 Giovanni, a monitor is a person 151 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,133 who can take charge of the class during my absence, 152 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:05,533 somebody intelligent enough to assume responsibility. 153 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,300 On second thought, perhaps it's not such a good idea after all. 154 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,633 Please, I think I'm making good monitor. 155 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,733 I think we'll alternate, have a different one each week. 156 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,967 It'll be a good experience for you. 157 00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:17,033 Right, Anna, we'll start with you. 158 00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,667 - Thank yah. - Thank you. 159 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,167 Thank you. 160 00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,667 If you'll just hand these round and collect the homework. 161 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:22,633 Yah. 162 00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,300 - Yes, Anna. - Yes. 163 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,467 And from now on, I want to hear no more foreign languages 164 00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:27,900 spoken in this class. 165 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,100 From the moment you come in here, 166 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,967 you speak English all the time. 167 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:31,867 Is that understood? 168 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,100 Por favor? 169 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,000 No por favor. 170 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,967 Por favor finito. 171 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,033 English only. 172 00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,000 S'alright. 173 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,100 Yes. 174 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,200 Thank you, Anna. 175 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:43,467 Now, have you all got a newspaper? 176 00:06:43,567 --> 00:06:45,067 Si, professore. 177 00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,900 Right, now I'm going to ask you each to read out 178 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,667 a passage from the newspaper, and then 179 00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:50,167 we'll discuss it together, OK? 180 00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:51,433 Max, you start us off. 181 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,633 American "hembassy" bug-"ed". 182 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,533 No, Max, bugged. 183 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:08,300 'Ey, my boss, he all the time says he's bug-"ed". 184 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:13,000 Yeah, so that may be so, Giovanni. 185 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,967 But the word we are dealing with is bugged. 186 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,100 Now, read it again, Max, correctly. 187 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,267 American "hembassy" bugged. 188 00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:23,733 Good, now does anybody know what that means? 189 00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:25,033 Ah, Taro. 190 00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:39,333 It means American embassy full off little insects. 191 00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:42,100 No, Taro, they're not that sort of bugs, 192 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,500 listening devices. 193 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,700 Jamila, can you read something from your newspaper? 194 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,833 Yeah, read something. 195 00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:53,800 That way. 196 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:57,367 Ah, 8 B. 197 00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:01,233 Yes, well, that's a start. 198 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:05,967 Um-- late again, Ranjeet? 199 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:09,400 Oh, Mr. Teacher, I am apologizing more soundly. 200 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,733 Yes, well perhaps next week you'll 201 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,233 try and get here on time. 202 00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:16,067 I'm thinking next week I'm not being here at all. 203 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:17,567 You're leaving us? 204 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:21,600 I'm going to be joining my beloved ancestors. 205 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,000 You mean you're going to die? 206 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:27,200 Most definitely, I'm going to die by my own hand. 207 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:33,500 Please, if you are wanting any assistance, 208 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,067 I'm happy to be helping. 209 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,333 I thought you didn't like Sikhs. 210 00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:40,467 That is why I'm happy to be helping. 211 00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:43,667 All right, Ali, this is no laughing matter. 212 00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:44,833 I think Ranjeet is serious. 213 00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:46,267 Most certainly I am. 214 00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,367 Well, why are you thinking of killing yourself? 215 00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:50,200 I'm forced to be getting married. 216 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:54,367 Oh, ho, you randy old chapati. 217 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,433 You are putting some innocent lady in the pudding club. 218 00:08:57,533 --> 00:09:00,033 ,, you sorry Muslim pig. 219 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,167 All right, that'll do. 220 00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:02,400 Look, I don't understand, Ranjeet. 221 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,867 Why are you being forced to get married? 222 00:09:04,967 --> 00:09:07,000 According to the Sikh tradition, 223 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,267 I was betrothed when I was 12 to Surinder, 224 00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:15,067 the 10-year-old daughter of the best friend of my father. 225 00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:19,500 She was a beautiful girl, hair like silk, 226 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,667 eyes like black diamonds, and a figure 227 00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:25,233 like a tender bamboo shoot. 228 00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,767 And now her father is saying it is 229 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,333 time for me to be marrying her. 230 00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,367 Well, if she's got eyes like black diamonds, hair like silk, 231 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,033 and a figure like a tender bamboo shoot, 232 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,300 what are you complaining about? 233 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,133 Blimey, that was 20 years ago! 234 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,033 Now she's putting on so much weight 235 00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:42,400 that from behind she's looking like an elephant. 236 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,800 Matter of fact, she's looking like an elephant from front 237 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,367 also. 238 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:49,967 Can't you just tell her that you've changed your mind? 239 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:50,933 Not at all. 240 00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:53,467 Only lady can change mind. 241 00:09:53,567 --> 00:09:56,700 I am up the creek without a poodle. 242 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,867 You mean a paddle. 243 00:09:58,967 --> 00:09:59,900 You not do it. 244 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,967 It's a sin to kill yourself. 245 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:05,233 It's the only course which is left open to me. 246 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,700 When you do this killing yourself? 247 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,867 Tonight. 248 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:12,500 Can we come and watch? 249 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,567 This is ridiculous. 250 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:14,900 People don't go around killing themselves 251 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,867 rather than break off an engagement. 252 00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:17,067 But it is my religion. 253 00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,100 Well, in that case, why don't you marry? 254 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,867 That would be worse than killing myself. 255 00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,167 Well, come and sit down. 256 00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,233 We'll discuss whether you kill yourself or not 257 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:24,300 during the tea break. 258 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,500 Would you all look at your new-- 259 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,500 Mr. Brown. 260 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,267 There is an Indian lady in my office 261 00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:31,767 who wishes to speak to Mr. Ranjeet Singh. 262 00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,200 Excuse me, Missy. 263 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,967 This lady, is she resembling an elephant? 264 00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:40,200 I wouldn't exactly put it like that, but she is rather large. 265 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,700 Blimey, 'tis Surinder! 266 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,700 Yeah, well, ask here to come along here, Miss Courtney, 267 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,633 would you? 268 00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:45,600 That's very irregular. 269 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,967 Well, it is rather important. 270 00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:50,033 Well, very well, but don't make a habit of it. 271 00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:51,433 What are doing that for? 272 00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:53,167 So we can talk to her, perhaps make her see reason. 273 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,833 There's not any way possible. 274 00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,033 I kill myself. 275 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,033 Come on, put your-- 276 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,733 Max, Giovanni, hold his arms. 277 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,100 Where is he? 278 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,400 He's not here yet? 279 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,867 Ah, I'll wait for him in the corridor. 280 00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:12,633 He's promised to me, and I swear by holy guru, he is having me. 281 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,400 Well, what am I telling you? 282 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,367 Yeah, so I quite see your point about an elephant. 283 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,033 Still, don't worry, Ranjeet. 284 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,367 I'm sure some elephants are very nice. 285 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,167 Can I have knife back, please? 286 00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:43,667 Promise you won't kill yourself? 287 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:44,900 Promise. 288 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,133 Killing myself is not going to help me. 289 00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,933 That's the attitude. 290 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,933 I have much better idea. 291 00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:51,933 I kill her! 292 00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:54,500 No! 293 00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:22,433 Ah, you're still there. 294 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,100 Yes, I still here. 295 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,667 I really think you ought to go home. 296 00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:28,133 No, I wait for Ranjeet. 297 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,200 Well, I don't think Ranjeet will be coming tonight. 298 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,100 I wait. 299 00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,633 She's still being out in corridor? 300 00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,133 Yeah, I'm afraid so, Ranjeet. 301 00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,933 Look, Miss Courtney is not going to be very pleased 302 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,100 when she finds out about this. 303 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,133 Oh, deary me. 304 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,567 What am I going to be doing? 305 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,667 Can't you just tell her you're not going to marry her? 306 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:54,800 But I am not going to be marrying Miss Courtney. 307 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,333 I am referring to Surinder. 308 00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:58,700 Oh, no. 309 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,600 If I am telling her that, she is surely going to kill me. 310 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:04,500 Ah, you said you were going to kill yourself, 311 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,433 That is correct. 312 00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:06,367 Yes. 313 00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,033 Please, sir, in my country, 314 00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:12,667 person commit hari kari. 315 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:19,000 It is custom for best friend to be present to chop off head. 316 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,767 Chop off head? 317 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,100 Hai, thshh! 318 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,067 I will be happy to assist. 319 00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,567 You will do nothing-- 320 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,000 nothing of the sort, Taro. 321 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,967 Now please, everybody, just sit down. 322 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,200 You're here to learn English. 323 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,567 We've had enough disruption for one night. 324 00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,233 You should leave your personal problems at home. 325 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,333 Now look at your newspapers. 326 00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,800 Juan, read out a headline. 327 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,600 Por favor? 328 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,533 The newspaper. 329 00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:46,033 Ah, si, the newspaper. 330 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,733 Yeah, read something out. 331 00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:51,067 Ah. 332 00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:58,200 Increase in London rats. 333 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,933 London rats? 334 00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:08,000 Si, increase in London rats. 335 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,067 Rates. 336 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:18,467 Pardon. 337 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,333 Yeah, Anna, your turn. 338 00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:24,233 Vestern vorld velcomes vind of change. 339 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,800 Vonderful, uh, very good. 340 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:31,700 Danielle. 341 00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:40,533 Prime Minister sold a pup. 342 00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:44,033 Good, now that is a very good example of a figure of speech. 343 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,200 Prime Minister sold a pup. 344 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,100 Can you tell me what that means, Giovanni? 345 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,400 He's buying a dog. 346 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,300 No, it's a figure of speech. 347 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,367 Let me give you another example. 348 00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:57,767 Prime Minister sold a dummy. 349 00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:58,867 You know what that means? - Sure. 350 00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,233 Do you understand me? 351 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,300 Yeah. 352 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,200 It's just one thing I don't understand. 353 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:09,133 Does he buy the dummy before or after he buy the pup? 354 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:11,200 He doesn't buy anything. 355 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,733 Ah, newspaper man's a big liar. 356 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,867 A figure of speech, I told you, 357 00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:18,833 it's just a figure of speech. 358 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,433 It doesn't mean what it says. 359 00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:22,167 Typical of imperial politicians 360 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:25,700 who distort truth and suppress working classes. 361 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,200 Thank you. 362 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,000 A figure of speech is a way of expressing an idea by way 363 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,300 of contrast or comparison. 364 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,933 If you're being sold a pup, or sold a dummy, 365 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,767 you're being cheated or deceived. 366 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,900 In England, we use figures of speech quite a lot. 367 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,867 For example, we say as quick as lightning, 368 00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:42,400 as light as a feather, as clean as a whistle, as blind as a-- 369 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:43,167 Su-Lee? 370 00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:44,733 As blind as a bat. 371 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,900 Good, because bats cannot see. 372 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,433 Max, as deaf as a-- 373 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:50,333 Postman. 374 00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:59,833 No, Max, post, because posts cannot hear. 375 00:15:59,933 --> 00:16:03,033 Neither can my postman. 376 00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:06,367 Ali, as sly as a-- 377 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:09,500 - Sikh! - Fox. 378 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,267 Ranjeet, as mad as a-- 379 00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:14,433 Muslim. 380 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:15,200 Hatter. 381 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,200 Taro, as drunk as a-- 382 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,433 Noodle. 383 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,033 Yeah, well lord is more correct. 384 00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:24,233 Jamila, as white as-- 385 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,667 You. 386 00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,200 Snow. 387 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:33,033 Ali, as smooth as-- 388 00:16:33,133 --> 00:16:35,333 Baby's bottoms. 389 00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:37,667 All right, we'll break for tea now, 390 00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:41,300 and continue with the newspapers when we come back, all right? 391 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,633 Please, how am I going to be getting out without being 392 00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:47,300 observed by the fat one? 393 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,567 Well that's your problem. 394 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,000 My problem is how to get her off the premises 395 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,733 before Miss Courtney finds her. 396 00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:52,700 Oh. 397 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,867 Look, I really think you ought to go home. 398 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:02,033 No I stay. 399 00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,967 What is going on? 400 00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,467 What is going on? 401 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,067 What is going on? 402 00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:08,933 Yes, well, I'm talking to this lady. 403 00:17:09,033 --> 00:17:10,167 Why is she here? 404 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,533 Well, she's talking to me. 405 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,400 Why is she sitting in the corridor? 406 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,767 Why is she sitting in the corridor? 407 00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,433 Must you repeat everything I say? 408 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,300 I could have sworn that woman wasn't pregnant yesterday. 409 00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,567 You're safe now. 410 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,167 Thank you, Jamila, thank you. 411 00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:51,533 What you do now? 412 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,933 Maybe I jump out of the window. 413 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:56,967 You'll be lucky. 414 00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,267 We're on the third floor. 415 00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,167 Oh! 416 00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:02,667 Mr. Brown, I have a feeling that something very peculiar 417 00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:04,200 is going on. 418 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,600 No, no, everything's perfectly all right, I can assure you. 419 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:07,533 Are you going? 420 00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:08,433 Yes. 421 00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:09,200 Ah. 422 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,433 To get a cup of tea. 423 00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:19,267 I only want a cup of tea. 424 00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:21,233 Oh, blimey, that's Surinder. 425 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:25,433 Ah, that was sounding like my Ranjeet. 426 00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:26,367 Where is he now? 427 00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,833 I told you, he's not here. 428 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:28,867 Excuse me, dearie. 429 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,033 Eh? 430 00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:31,567 Are you looking for the darkie fellow 431 00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:34,533 with the beard and the bandage around his head? 432 00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:35,867 Yes, where is he? 433 00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,400 He's just gone around those curtains. 434 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,933 Come out, Ranjeet. 435 00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:51,267 I am knowing you are there. 436 00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:52,267 Come out! 437 00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:09,200 Ah! 438 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,267 What is the meaning of this? 439 00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:20,100 I am noticing windows very dirty. 440 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,767 So I'm cleaning them for you. 441 00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:23,700 I like very much cleaning windows. 442 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,167 In the pitch dark? 443 00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:28,000 Now come in off that window ledge at once. 444 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,733 Oh, certainly. 445 00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,767 A thousand apologies. 446 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:43,933 Ah! 447 00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:46,933 No, no, no, no, no. 448 00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:48,300 I kill myself. 449 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,700 Yeah, well hurry up, 'cause tea break's nearly over. 450 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,600 I'm doing it. 451 00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:52,700 Yeah, well do it then. 452 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,300 I'm going to join my ancestors. 453 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,933 Don't keep them waiting too long. 454 00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:57,000 Bye bye, everybody. 455 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:57,900 Bye! 456 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,833 Ciao! 457 00:19:58,933 --> 00:19:59,967 I'm doing it now. 458 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:00,900 Yes, so you keep saying. 459 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,167 This is it then. 460 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,600 Ow! 461 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,100 Maybe I'm having a cup of coffee before I do it. 462 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,200 - Yeah. - Yes. 463 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:16,400 Ah. 464 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,700 Ranjeet, we all know you haven't the slightest 465 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,200 intention of killing yourself. 466 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,167 So put your knife away, and let's discuss this properly. 467 00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:23,133 Now, Surinder, as I understand it, 468 00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:25,467 you and Ranjeet here were both betrothed 469 00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:26,400 when you were children. 470 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,900 Most definitely. 471 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,700 Now he's not wanting to marry me. 472 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,800 Yeah, well you can't get married 473 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,900 unless you love each other. 474 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,333 It is his duty to be marrying me, 475 00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,400 otherwise I'm losing my face. 476 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,033 I think she's lost it already. 477 00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:41,267 You wouldn't be happy together. 478 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:42,633 I mean, can't you just agree to release 479 00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,067 Ranjeet from his promise? 480 00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:45,400 And what is to become of me? 481 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:46,967 Well, I'm sure you'll meet somebody else. 482 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:51,400 Ah, if I think I'll meet another man, 483 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,533 oh, I'll most gladly release Ranjeet. 484 00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:55,633 You would? 485 00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:59,200 Most certainly, but who is having me now? 486 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,233 Hm. 487 00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:02,233 You know, Surinder, there is something 488 00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,500 Mr. Brown is not telling you. 489 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,800 There is? 490 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,367 Oh, yes, indeed. 491 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,667 He has special reason for wanting 492 00:21:09,767 --> 00:21:12,267 you not to be marrying me. 493 00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:13,767 I have? 494 00:21:13,867 --> 00:21:15,500 He is wanting to marry you himself. 495 00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,967 He's wanting to be marrying me? 496 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:22,467 I'm wanting to marry her? 497 00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,433 Oh, I accept! 498 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:35,900 Hola, Mr. Brown. 499 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:36,933 Good evening, Gladys. 500 00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,400 Hey, when's the happy day, then? 501 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,900 There's not going to be any happy day. 502 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,100 It was all a complete misunderstanding. 503 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,533 Oh what a pity. 504 00:21:44,633 --> 00:21:49,300 And I thought you and Surinder made a lovely couple. 505 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,567 With all due respect, she was a couple on her own. 506 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,367 Guys, that'll do, good evening. 507 00:21:59,467 --> 00:22:02,567 All right, before we start, I've checked 508 00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:05,300 your homework last night. 509 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,967 And I have a feeling that there's been some sort 510 00:22:07,067 --> 00:22:09,200 of chicanery going on. 511 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,900 We not know what you mean. 512 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:11,800 No, Giovanni? 513 00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,100 Well, I'll tell you. 514 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,833 First, see, there's the fact that five of them 515 00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:17,333 were all in the same handwriting. 516 00:22:17,433 --> 00:22:21,100 It's a sheer coincidence. 517 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,600 And is it also a coincidence that you all 518 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,400 answered question 7 as follows? 519 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,333 Question, explain what is wrong with the following sentence. 520 00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:31,400 My dogs is in the garden. 521 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:35,100 Answer, I do not have a garden. 522 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,567 You owe me 10p! 523 00:22:37,867 --> 00:22:41,667 Well, you will all receive extra homework tonight. 524 00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:47,033 Please, this time make sure that you do it yourself. 525 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:51,367 I am apologizing again, but I am delayed by Surinder. 526 00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:52,833 I thought she'd agreed to release 527 00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:53,900 you from your marriage vows. 528 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,467 Oh, yes, she has. 529 00:22:55,567 --> 00:22:59,100 But her father is coming to see you about your marriage vows! 530 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,933 Look, there's not going to be any wedding. 531 00:23:01,033 --> 00:23:02,300 I have broken it off. 532 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,267 O, deary me, how painful. 533 00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:08,367 I have written to Surinder's parents 534 00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:10,567 explaining that I cannot possibly marry their daughter. 535 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,133 I've also pointed out the differences 536 00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:13,900 between our religious and cultural backgrounds 537 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,700 and the fact that I have no intention of marrying anyone. 538 00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:21,400 He should have got the letter this morning. 539 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,700 Oh, yes, he did. 540 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,100 That is why he's coming. 541 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,400 He's hoping to be slicing you into many pieces. 542 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,733 Pardon? 543 00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:31,867 He's saying you are bringing disgrace on his daughter. 544 00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:32,800 Don't be ridiculous. 545 00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:33,900 This isn't the Punjab. 546 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,333 It's England, a civilized country. 547 00:23:35,433 --> 00:23:37,200 People just don't go around slicing each other up, 548 00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:40,133 and I shall tell him so. 549 00:23:40,233 --> 00:23:41,967 Where is this illegitimate offspring 550 00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:43,500 of a six-legged gamin? 551 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,967 Ah, blimey, I am not knowing where he is. 552 00:23:45,067 --> 00:23:46,133 You see, he's not here. 553 00:23:46,233 --> 00:23:47,700 He has emigrated. - Oh!